33 years

I have lived 33 years and that was the cause for our celebration yesterday.  I must say that it was one of the BEST birthdays I had.  I spent the day with my sister and my son in Lake Geneva, and the evening with my husband and dad as well.  I celebrated with my mom and Steve this weekend.

First word and teeth

Caleb said mama today!  I am sooo excited that it happened today.  I have been saying mama to him each and every single day since the day he was born.  I draw out each sound and just say it when I'm changing him, playing, or giving him a tubby.

He had just started to practice forming his mouth to make the m sound, and biting his lower lip since Friday.  Today as B was changing him first thing in the morning, I heard it, "mmmammma"  He said it four times in a row.  He would say it off and on throughout the day at random spurts.  I had my camera on hand to capture this magical moment, but of course he wouldn't say it as well as he did it just minutes prior.

I didn't  think this moment would happen so soon, but I am elated that he said it.  I wished so bad for him to say mama as his first word and it happened.  The video I have is not that great of him actually saying it.  He said it a few times in a row minutes before I started taping of course, and then as soon as I shut it off, he said mama as clear as day!  But you can see him mouthing the m's and he does a very soft mama toward the beginning, but you have to listen carefully or you might miss it. 

Caleb also has 2 teeth coming in on the bottom at the same time!  The bottom left is coming in a bit faster than its neighbor on the right.  It is soooo cute to see these little white pearls at his gum line.  The left side broke through the gum and the right one is just about to as well.  He slept through the night Friday night for 12 straight hours, but last night he was up frequently.  We gave him some Tylenol to help with the pain and hope to have a better night tonight.  It's hard to look in there and I probably can forget about capturing a photograph of them but I will still try to no avail.

she's here

My sister is here and I am excited beyond words.  Here we are at the airport waiting for her luggage, and those legs would belong to Caleb who is under cover eating :-)

wordless wednesday video

A year ago today

I started this here little blog with this post, and little did I know what it would have become for me.  I wanted a way to keep my family and friends informed on what was happening with my pregnancy, especially my family and friends that live out of state and out of the country.


My sister lives in Cali and I wanted to write for her.  She is my very best friend, and to have gone through my pregnancy without her was very tough on me.  I cried, a lot.  I missed her face, her voice, and her wisdom.

As I sat down at my computer each week, I carefully played with the words in my mind until they came out somewhat close to what I had in mind.  I asked my loving husband to help capture photos to chronicle our pregnancy.

This blog became my journal, story,  and evolved into the adventures with Caleb. 

I write for him now.  I want to put words to the pictures that I take and create these memories that can never be erased.  A year ago, I never could have imagined how much my life would change, how far I would come. 

I am ready for the next year and the adventures and memories that will be created.

cooking up a storm

The weather here this Sunday was, shall we say, less than desirable.  So I spend a few hours in the kitchen cooking up batches of food for caleb.

I have always made his food and really enjoy it, but I have never blogged about it.  It is sooo easy to do and just takes a little organization and time.  I had so much food that I was going to make that I had steamers on the stove as well as my Beaba going on the counter.  I also had 2 food processors going to speed things up.

We have an organic delivery service for our fruit and produce, it's really awesome.  I love Thursdays because that's when we get our box and it's like Christmas.  We get it delivered to B's work so we know that someone will be there to get the box each week.  All of caleb's food is organic.  I eat that way, and want him to as well.   It's of the utmost importance to me that we eat organic and use non toxic products in our home and on our bodies.  I can talk about this forever since it's a huge passion of mine, but I won't.

I ended up making Caleb:   peas, green beans, apples, mango, carrot apple pear blend, avocado, and acorn squash.

 This is a typical box for us.  We recently upped to a bigger size and it will come every other week

 First wash and peel the carrots, apples, and pears.  Cut up and add to steamer basket for about 15. min.

 

I

 Add the steamed food to the processor and use the cooking liquid to thin out the puree in the processor as you puree it.

 This is consistency that I go for, a thick cream texture

 I bought a ton of these individual freezer containers, bpa free of course

 

I also have one of these silicone food cube trays from Annabel Karmel that makes it a cinch to pop out after freezing the puree, and place into zip bags like the one below

  

You don't need to have a Beaba like we have to do all of this.  I actually like making the food using a pot and steamer basket and a big food processor because I can make a ton more at one time than I ever could with the Beaba.

missed first

Caleb went to the park today for the very first time, without me. 

He enjoyed his first ride in a swing without me. 

I shed some tears of happiness at the pure joy of his experience. 

I shed some tears for myself because I was not there. 

I was at work fighting back my tears as I watched the video sent to me by my wonderful sitter hoping that my students wouldn't notice.

This is just the beginning of things that I will not be there for, but it's so hard when it's the first time.

sunny days

It was the perfect day to go on a nice family walk today.

7 months

These past 2 weeks have been so messed up and events have just kept me from posting what I had wanted to, BUT it is better late than never, yes?, so here we go.

Caleb turned 7 months on sunday.  Oh what a joy he is now as he is able to interact soo much more.  He is very strong and this video just shows how powerful he has become, I was certain he was going to fling himself out of the bouncy.

 He is enjoying his first frozen peach in his feeder, LOVES it.

He has become so good at sitting up, but I still get so nervous walking away.  Eating blocks is his fave pastime.

I wish I had more photos, but we have just been a sick pair lately.  I hope to get back to normal here soon.

hit again

We've been hit by the flu bug again and it has affected this mama pretty hard.  Sorry it's been so quiet around here, but I just can't even function when I feel like I have a cat trying to claw it's way out of my throat.

The week was pretty uneventful besides caleb and i sharing the flu bug, daddy, however, has been unaffected as always.  Today we are installing caleb's big boy car seat so i don't have to worry about breaking my back anymore.  That's pretty exciting for me. 

The rest of the weekend will consist of me lying on the couch and relaxing (ha that's funny, i don't think that's possible with a 7 month old).  Did you catch that, 7 month old?  Yup, caleb will be 7 months old tomorrow, holy hell.  I'll do a separate post for him tomorrow.

2 peas in a ...

BOX! 

Remember when you were a kid and empty boxes made THE best toys? 

Well we had an empty one lying around from the new car seat we just bought, and this silly mama climbed right in.  I can't wait to see Caleb do this when he is older.  I wonder what he will pretend to do.  What did you pretend in your box as a kid?

Just Another Manic Momday: Welcome....Heir to Blair!

I just read this post and was compelled to re-blog this because it struck a chord with me.  It is EXACTLY how I feel, except during my lunch hour, I am attached to my breast pump, not getting errands done like I wish I could.


Just Another Manic Momday: Welcome....Heir to Blair!:
When my son was 13 weeks old, I slipped back into a black pencil skirt & three-inch stilletos to take my place in the coporate world once more.   Every day for the next year, I tearfully kissed my little boy goodbye & bitterly plowed through paperwork & client calls.   I hated being a working mother.  I was wracked with jealousy over my stay-at-home-mom friends when they held playdates & lunches.  I struggled with finding balance between work, marriage, motherhood, home, & myself.  News articles hounded home that the children of working mothers were fatter, sicker, & worse off than children of mothers who stayed home.  & it didn't matter if Charlie Sheen himself wrote the study, I believed that I was failing my child by working.
Slowly, that cloud of despair has lifted as my postpartum depression healed & my little family settled into a comfortable routine.  I met a few fellow working momma friends that helped me feel less alone as we shared tips for managing it all.  & you know what?  I realized that it doesn't suck.  Sure, being a working momma is HARD.  You're "on" 24/7, not only meeting the demands of a family & toddler tyrant, but also the demands of clients, bosses, products, & everything in between.  But it definitely has it's perks.
Reasons Being A Working Mom is the Hot Jam

• The paycheck.  Money pretty much rocks & whether you're using it to put a roof over your head (like me) or buy pretty things from Anthropologie (occasionally me), it's a good feeling to see the bank account swell & know that I earned some of the cash that keeps us full.
• Lunch breaks that don't include peanut butter & jelly unless I'm lazy & pack that for myself.  They also don't include being pelted in the face with mushy banana.  I can sit down with a good friend in a restaurant or eat quietly at my desk.  Sometimes in the fall & spring when the weather's nice, I take a walk around my office or eat outside in the sunshine while reading a book.  It's a rare moment that I get to myself.
• Running errands by myself. Lunch isn't all bon-bons, though.  Most of the time, I'm running errands - grocery shopping, dry cleaning, buying dog food & diapers.  It's the only time I can get my teeth cleaned or my hair cut or my lady-bits examined, so I'm that gal laying on the exam table, eating a taco while the gynecologist...you know what? I'm not even going to go there. But I do get to do the mundane things in life by myself without hauling a screaming toddler in & out of a carseat, which makes them easier & faster.
• The look on his face when I pick him up at the end of the day. I open the front door & he's there, running towards me with a big smile on his face.  He cannot wait to see me & it's reassurance that I'm still his favorite person.
• Cute clothes. Okay, I'm actually torn on this one because some days I could really do without the tights & three-inch heels.  But when I'm at home, I tend to slave away in jeans & crummy tshirts.  Working ensures that I'm put-together with curled hair & make-up...at least 75% of the time.
• Adult conversation. Granted, chatting about budgets with a coworker that has horrible breath isn't necessarily my idea of a good time, but sometimes I think it beats listening to Wonder Pets on repeat.
• Living for the weekends. By the time Saturday & Sunday roll around, our entire little family is haggard & in need of rest.  But it's also a time to celebrate being together, so we cook a hot breakfast every morning & spend as much time in the sunshine as possible, after being cooped up in offices.  Nate & I trade off getting time alone - both to ourselves & time alone with Harrison.
• Things are 100% equal on the parenting front. Like all parents, we're both equally exhausted.  But since we both log 40+ hours in the office, neither can point fingers at who worked harder.  That means that chores, parenting, & responsibilities are split 50/50.   I have just as much time to cook & clean as he does, so when we're almost falling over dead on Friday night, we're both folding size 18 month onesies & pants.

Like I said, it doesn't suck all the time.  There's some bummer parts about being a working momma, but honestly?  I'm not going to go into those.  There's enough negativity out there about those of us with mommas that hold down a nine to five.  We know the benefits of staying home, but it's time to recognize that working can also benefit the family.  At the end of the day, I may prefer to be with my son & dream of a day full of playdough & Little People & yes, even tantrums.  But when I'm sitting in my quiet office at 8am on Monday morning while quietly sipping fresh coffee & checking email, I smile.  Because that moment certainly doesn't suck.

practice

I have had no time to blog for a few days and this post has to be quick as well.  Caleb is developing another cold, sad face, so we have been occupied holding him and snuggling. 

On a side note, he is grunting all day long and tooting up a storm since we've upped his solids to 3 times a day.  It's too funny and sad at the same time listening to him make those noises, especially in public, when you're at buy buy baby looking at  testing out strollers and here he is just grunting away as I wheel him around.

I've been playing with my editing site obsession and came up with these.  I need to spend more time on them as they are not final edits but here are a few photos to tickle your fancy.

paper is so funny

carrots

What a difference a day makes.
Day one of carrots was not so successful, but day 2 was.

I think it depends on Caleb's mood at the time.

flying

"Look I'm flying Mama"

whack job

I have always been a worrier,but after having Caleb the worries have gotten much heavier. Now let me just say that my worries are more than the "typical" kind like money and parenting stuff. Ever since I can remember, my fears began with the fear of flying and dying in a crash or of going to the hospital. I missed out on so many things like our family trip to Poland for example. I can remember one time where I hid in my room with a cut up, bleeding leg, embedded with dirt and rocks and I was viciously trying to scrub the dirt and pick the rocks out in my room with a flashlight. I think I watched too many scary stories on the news as a kid because I don't know how else this started.


Now to show you what a whack job I am, I will repeat the conversation that I had with he mister at Chipotle this weekend. Out of the blue, I just had the thought of a masked gunman coming in through the doors and shooting us up! I got really anxious for a second as I eyed each person entering the door. I then quickly play the scenario in my mind of where I would run with Caleb and how I would save him, never mind my poor husband that would have to fend for himself (sorry babe). In the car I think about getting hit and dying on my way home from work or just out and about doing errands. I get most of these mind flashes when I am alone and thinking about how I much I miss Caleb.

My biggest fear is not being here for him. I hate the fact that I have these thoughts and how they appear at the most random times. So I thought I would share what goes on in the mind of a very scared mama at times.

Please, don't think I'm too nuts and tell me you have these thoughts too...