raspberries

Caleb's new trick, blowing raspberries.  Sorry for the low light.

guy talk

I wonder what daddy is telling caleb, probably something related to beer and how to pick up chicks.

breastfeeding diet

I love that since I have been nursing, all my baby weight has melted right off.  This is the BEST diet ever!  I eat all day long, have ice-cream a couple nights a week and I still need a belt to hold up my size 4 pants!  I don't want to ever stop nursing, so I think I will just pump for the rest of my life :-)

sitting up

My photo of the day from my super fab sitter Kristine was this today...sitting up big boy, Caleb-5months.

baby legs

Look who's sporting their brand new pair of baby legs?!  I tried to convince the hubs that these are sooo cool for boys and that Caleb needed to have a pair a ton.Well I was able to order 2 and they just came in.  I bought them from here.  Not only are they uber chic, but when he wears them, all you have to do is unsnap the bottom of his onesie to change him, no pulling pants on and off, hello time saver!

guilt support group

If there was such a thing I would join stat!  Let me start off this post by saying I suffer from a severe case of mother's guilt.  I know I'm not the only mama that feels guilty about things that have to relate to their child, husband, and life but I just don't know how to let go.

First off, I cannot won't wake Caleb up from a nap for anything unless the house is under fire and we need to get out.  I struggle with this the most.  We have missed playdates, lunches out, doctor appointments etc... due to the fact that I just can't wake him up to go somewhere that has a set time.  I don't know how other people do it.  We had to be 2 places this weekend and 1 place we were really late, and then had to cancel with our friends on the other day.  Caleb tends to struggle at times getting to sleep and has reverted to not sleeping at night again so when he finally goes down for a nap, I will not wake him.

Secondly, I feel guilty for not going to church for like ever because Caleb will have to go down for a nap by the time we have to leave, or it will time for him to nurse right when we have to pack up, or what if he is fussy and won't sit quietly.   So I have resorted to just not going at all and then I feel guilty about it the rest of the day.

Thirdly, I don't pay attention to my husband like I used to.  My life is all about Caleb now and I have not yet learned how to be a wife again.  I need help in this area.  I feel guilty doing "ya know" because he's in the house and it's weird or I am soo tired that I can't think straight and I just want to go to bed.  How do we get back to how things were?

Fourthly, I feel guilty if I don't put him to bed myself.  I can't go out at night anywhere because I will not let anyone put him to bed.  I want to nurse him and rock him and watch him get tired and give him a kiss good night.  I did let Brian do this once this weekend and it was fine, but I still felt I was being a bad mama by not doing it myself. 

I don't know if it's because I work and don't get to spend all day with him anymore that I feel like this because I have a hard time just leaving the house on the weekend to go shopping, either Brian or we go together.  I feel like I have to be home with Caleb and not out and about enjoying myself going to Kohl's.  Caleb is a baby only once and the time goes so fast that I don't want to miss a second of it.  I am already dreading the thought of  having my fabulous sitter feed Caleb some rice cereal during the week, so I am going to do it at her house before I leave him and head for work. 

I get jealous and I guess I don't want Caleb to get confused with who his mama is.  I don't know if he does or will but that is my fear.  I need to learn to let go of the guilt because at times it suffocates me but I will not let down.  I don't know how to.  I love him so much.

ps. I didn't read this over to check for grammar errors, so hunny I'm sorry if this post makes me look like a moron :-)

Hi

I got his pic yesterday to brighten my day from my sitter!

5 months

Caleb turned 5 months on the 13th.    He has grown so much in all ways.  I love watching him zero in on an object and grab it with both hands and get that cross eye stare from so much concentration, Adorable.  He is getting very good at it and constantly grabs at far away toys and brings them to his mouth.

He also tried avocado on Saturday and couldn't get enough.  I think I fed him too much because I think it's still coming out:-)

Caleb loves to stand!  He wants to do it all the time.  When you take hold of his fingers when he's lying down and try to pull him up, instead of going to the sitting position, he locks his legs and go straight to a stand.  He is starting to sleep through the night 10-12 hours straight.  Let's see what else is new, mmm I think that is mostly it.  Here is some major cuteness...

lamb

I'm sitting at my desk and my students keep asking me what I'm eating for my lunch, (they have inside recess)so I tell them lamb.  They look at me kinda funny, and I say you know lamb, like "Mary had a little lamb".  Ha ha I think I freaked them out.

food

Caleb LOVES to eat!  He just started some rice cereal about 2 weeks or so ago every now and then but now it seems I can't get in him fast enough.  He is Adorable when I feed it to him because he reaches both hands out as I hold the spoon towards him and then he touches it and puts it in his mouth.

Today I made Caleb some avocado thinned out with breast-milk of course. He devoured it.  Oh how sweet he is when he eats.  I made it for him right before he was due for his next feeding.   I sat him down in his Bumbo chair with a bib on and we were ready to go.  He made a big mess and got it all over his face and clothes of course but that is part of all the fun. I'm going to stick to these 2 foods for a while and then after another week or 2 if all is good then I will introduce banana.  I was preparing the rest of the avocado by cutting it up,  pureeing it,  and spooning it into his little freezer containers all while Caleb was in his baby Bjorn helping me out by reaching for it.  I love this new stage of his life.  He has been in awe of me eating for a while now and he is just so happy to be able to eat himself and he really shows it.

We also went to our fave. restaurant, Tsukasa again, for our good friend Lyz's (hey girl) birthday dinner.  We brought the kiddos and had our other friends Tim and Malia join us.  What a great time we had and the  night ended all too quickly.  All in all this was a super fantastic weekend that I don't want to end.  Thank God I am off work tomorrow so I can snuggle with my little man for an extra day.

sicky

Caleb and I have been sick here for a few days so things have been a little quiet on the blog front.  I will say though that he handles a cold much better than his mama.  When he sneezes and blows boogies out of his nose all over his face, he gets the biggest smile and thinks it's funny.  He also laughs when I use the electric nasal aspirator on him.  He has been sleeping and napping like a champ and actually slept through the night Monday 12 straight hours!!

We're home together today cuddling and laughing at mama's breathe right nose strip.  He just stares at the thing on my face and gets this funny look like he's thinking wtf is that mama?

Here's a pic of caleb's new big boy bath.

our weekend

Oh how I love my toes, don't you?

Caleb with Nana

Oh there's those toes again

toes

I showed caleb how to put his toes in his mouth today and he thought it was the funnest thing.  He immediately tried to do it on his own over and over. 
When I put him to bed, I didn't hear anything coming from the room, not even the smallest protest.  An hour later he was turned 180 degrees in the crib, so he was up to some antics in there, I bet trying to practice his new skill of eating his toes.

tubby time

Such a big boy in the tubby.  I can touch both sides, see?

20 weeks

My little ham bone at 20 weeks.  Just check out those thighs, wowza he has some new rolls that I love!!!

sushi

we took caleb for his first sushi experience on new year's eve at our fave place, Tsukasa.

ya damn right

I nursed my baby right in the middle of Target.  I pulled up a comfy chair from the shelf, plopped myself down, and fed my baby.  I felt so empowered, and if someone were to make a remark in my direction I would have had no problem telling them to suck it!