Thursday, February 3, 2011

balance and time

How do I find enough time and balance in my life to be satisfied with the time I spend with my family and find the time to do things I want for myself? 

For instance, my blog.  On the way to work each day, I think about what I want to write about.  Sometimes an idea pops into my head right then and there, or other times I just rehearse the words that have been playing in my mind for days and weeks.  I then get to work, do my job while thinking about my baby all day, race home, play with him and kiss him, put him to bed, eat dinner at 8:00pm and if I feel like it, catch up on blogs and post if I remember what I wanted to blog about in the first place. I often have all these great things I want to say and when I sit down at the computer, I just can't find the words.
Most of the time, I barely have any time or energy  to upload pics, and spit out some sentences to go along with them.  I go to bed thinking , I wish I would have said this or that.  I want to be able to find the time and energy to edit my pictures like these blogs I adore, here or here.  I don't know how they do it with time having kids.  I want to be able to make more time for things I enjoy like learning about photography and editing.

I LOVE vintage anything, but do I dress the way I want, or do my hair in more than 2 styles?  NO.  I have like 20 minutes to get ready in the mornings and I just go to the old standby items of clothing that I always wear, pants, a tank or shirt that is easily accessible to nurse and pump, and a cardi.  What I really want to do is find the time to go thrifting, perhaps, scope put some shops that I love like H&M, and experiment with new hairstyles like this.  I have short hair but I love the concept and would love to just experiment.  My daily style is blow dried and flat ironed blah...I put together outfits in my mind of what would be super cute and then I just go to the same old repertoire of what is easy and comfortable, mostly pajamas and t-shirts when I'm home.  I really want to dress like this.  I love the easy and feminine style that James has while being a mom.  How do I do this for myself?

Cooking is another pastime I used to enjoy.  My wonderful hubs does the cooking every night while I nurse and get Caleb ready for bed.  But, I want to conjure up the most delectable dishes that my hubs would rave about the next day at work.  Instead,  if I get  the chance to cook, it's a protein, usually fish or chicken, potatoes, and a veggie.  My hubs does such a wonderful job each night and we get to eat great stuff, but I want to impress him just like the saying goes, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  I  have images of us having dinner in our dimly lit dining area, enjoying the newest recipe we found, and making toasts to each other.  Instead we eat on the couch in front of the TV, catching up on programs we DVR'd.  We did recently sign up for a service called door to door organics.
They deliver fresh organic produce right to your door.  We are expecting our first delivery today, not sure if they will make it due to the weather. I think this is a step in the right directions because each week the box we get is different, so it will force us to mix things up a bit.

This is so adorable and I want to do small little things like this to bring some sunshine into our place.  For me, the time just does not exist unless I want to go to bed at 11:00 each night.

Ok, enough of my rambling, I didn't want to sound negative at all, just expressing my feelings about what I want to have time for and looking for a way to balance that with being a mama.

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thanks for the nice comment :-)